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May 6, 2012

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As I Was Saying
By Opal Toney

OpalToney7-24.jpg (37075 bytes)Seasons...
Well, I’m looking forward for spring, but when I woke up this morning and opened the door to go feed the cats and give Son #2’s dog food, whose name is “Bounce a Little,” but it takes quite a lot to feed him. I have to watch, or the cats wouldn’t get a bite!
I enjoy fall and winter when Santa comes, but spring is my favorite.

The Last Word: I enjoy them all! – O.T.


honeyandflag.jpg (61206 bytes)The View From Here
By Katherine Veno

Too bad people can’t shed...
Here in the middle of spring I noticed how much better my palomino horse looks in his golden, shimmery summer coat, than his drab, whitish fur left over from winter. It got me to thinking how nice it would be if I could do the same thing.
If I could molt like a bird and get all new feathers, my colors would be gleaming in the sunlight as well as my shiny cat lying by the window. I would not need makeup to bring out the pink in my cheeks, or sparkle on my lips to make them look dewy.
Spring is the time of renewal for everything except humans. We come out of winter with paper white legs and a few extra pounds, and try to find a bathing suit to hide everything after a certain age. If we just shed our outer covering like the animals, we would look all brand new.
Last night I slept well, and I should look refreshed, but everyone thought I looked tired. That would not happen if I just shed away all the freckles, brown spots, wrinkles, lines, pounds, and got all new everything on the outside every spring. This is where the animals have us beat. We may be mammals, but we do not excel at getting rid of anything. If we did, there would not be a show called Hoarders on television.
My cockatiel, Ricco Veno, lost his tail feathers. He looked strangely awkward, and certainly far from beautiful like he was before he molted. Then his feathers re-generated, and he has a lovely, colorful, tail just full of long, yellow and gray plumage.
My little miniature mare, Snicklerdoodle, was a mess of tangled white and gold matted winter hair. Rain, dirt, and hair obscured her pretty face and body. Then spring arrived and big clumps began to fall off of her as the birds rejoiced in their new nesting materials drifting through the pasture. With a shedding blade and a brush, she quickly became once again, younger, more beautiful, sleek, and shiny. Now all the boy horses whistle as she walks by, and she looks like any little girl’s dream pony. It is the miracle of shedding.
I realize humans shed their skin. I see flakes going everywhere as I vainly try to exfoliate my winter-white legs. I bought some shorts yesterday so I can get a bit of sun. I also know the sun is bad for my skin, but sometimes I just have to give in a little bit and soak up a little Vitamin D the natural way. So I will put on a big hat, and sunglasses, and sit in a lawn chair with my stems in the sun for a little while, and it will feel good.
With a little self-tanner, my legs may be presentable by the first of June. If I could molt in a hurry, or somebody could simply brush me off and everything would just drift away in the breeze, it would be so much nicer.
As humans we evolved too far in the cosmetic way. We lost our fur to protect us from the cold and heat, and we get cancer if we are not sun-savvy. My cats and dogs don’t get freckles if they take a walk down to the lake in the sun, but I do, so I have to put on sunscreen, and then it runs into my eyes and burns when I sweat. Then the waterproof mascara fails the test, and I resemble a sad street performer or mime. It would not be the same if I just shed my winter fur in a big hairball on the floor, and grew in shiny golden threads of metallic, reflective golden hair like my horse.
Or, if I glistened on the sidewalk in all new feathers like the big black street birds at the shopping center and had hints of iridescent green for natural makeup, I would not need any drugstore helpers.
Even snakes just shed their skin and slither away from last year’s face and body. They don’t even need body lotion or exfoliating scrub. It all just comes naturally. In fact all God’s creatures seem to be appealingly refreshed by nature, except for homo sapiens. I guess it is Mother Nature’s way of getting even with us for getting all the cars, houses, boats, guns, jewelry, and other fancy toys to play with.

EmilyLundy4-2.jpg (36194 bytes)Escapades of Emily
By Emily Gail Lundy

The Golden Years...
“Golden Age” for retirees or older people in general seems to be losing popularity in use. I am glad. I have never liked it. Literally, nothing seems “golden” about it, maybe rusted, or a duller gold. Historically it has stood for a period of achievement and super success in a field or country. Since earlier times the phrase has meant great accomplishments by outstanding humans. Or it has meant a period following years of great inventions, writings, discoveries, performance.
This is true for many older people, but not me. I still have ideas, compassion, dreams, and an ache to help humanity, but I hope I can get up in the mornings with little stumbling or find that pain salve for my spine. I want to go places, but usually the bed seems so inviting. Maybe a good crossword puzzle on the bedstand will gently send me to slumber after preparing my apnea mask, letting hubby get his favorite blanket straight, taking my regime of nightly medications, making sure we’re locked up, clearing a path to get up in the night if necessary without falling, turning on the night light which we have used before retiring, getting my pillows lined up, and trying not to sling a pillow around, taking the glass of water with it I keep by my side in case the apnea machine goes dry. Darth Vader says good night.
“Golden Oldies” makes me wince. Senior Citizen is only a little better. Geezer for me is harsh. What’s wrong with adorable oldies? I hear your mumbles. Some are old at 60; others still young at 80. I became old one night as I slept. From then on, pain somewhere began hitting me each morning. It does little benefit to stay in bed. Up, up, walking around, becomes the next assignment, trying not to fall. But if one does, having a little weight on the bones is said to help. Wheat, beer, dessert bellies aren’t the good weight. And any meeting lasting over an hour is too long. If I can’t stand or walk to the back with a coughing spell, I’ll be glued to a chair, unable to unlock my bones. It will take force to get me up.
No longer can I run unless danger is behind me. I can’t even work one correct block of Suduko and don’t know how to say it. Memory comes and goes. I can’t tell brown from black or black from navy; thus most of my shoes are black.
Since my fifties, I seem to go through a list of all children and grandchildren to get one’s name right. That’s why some of us say “Doll,” “Sugar,” and “Honey” quite a lot.
I did do something out of character last week. I took my ten toes, even the one trying to stand up, for a pedicure. What a mental lift. I sit and look at my painted toenails and recall what once was.
Going to two events a day is my limit, and I must get that across to my older husband who plans to go until he drops. Then I am to shoot him. If he thinks I’m going to prison for my last years, he will have to jump in a river and stay there. He’s in a boat on a river or creek mostly anyway. My husband’s title for this period is “The Lucky Generation,” for anyone who lives past 70.
I think the “New Freedom Group” has a fitting ring. I can finally say “No,” to duties, sleep as late as I want, watch television or read or put dishes in the dishwasher. No schedule has to be followed. I really don’t care what time it is but do look at a clock occasionally.
Of course, I have plans, but sometime I don’t follow them and don’t care that I don’t. My bucket list developed a hole in the bottom years ago. When I can get an envelop, stamp, and correct matter inside all to the mailbox, I may have achieved greatness for me. I’m not proud of this constant fatigue, well not constant, but I do what I can every day and really feel great when something on a mental list becomes completed. I may celebrate for two days of sitting on the porch and enjoying nature.
Talking on the telephone is my love, but people avoid me I think. Since I see fewer adults than ever before, I’m poster girl for “talking and can’t shut up.” Some of my conversationalists don’t let me get a word said or a story told. We have a battle for the line.
The only gold I want associated with my name is gold around a finger. A diamond with it won’t ruin anything.

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