View From Here
By Katherine Veno
Some people decide early in life that they will not open their heart up to
anyone more than they have to in order to achieve what they want. They are
shut down and keep themselves hidden from the possibility of rejection or
betrayal. It is a safe, but very narrow pathway to lead your entire life. It
is a lonely road.
We gain more wisdom when we take a risk and reach out to another person. We
know we may make mistakes and our trust will be put in the wrong place.
Being human, we also realize a bond may not last forever.
We have to be intelligent enough to know who we can be vulnerable with and
when we can let ourselves be open. Trust begins with the ability to believe
Courage to trust another person is difficult to come by if you have ever
been betrayed or hurt. This is when we must face our fears. When we let down
our defenses we are open to hurt and failure. Friends and lovers say unkind
things and selfish desires run over promises. Our minds spin at the thought
of opening our hearts to another.
It is hard to understand why anybody would want to risk it all and trust
another. But if you do, it brings huge amounts of comfort and joy. Within a
relationship beats the heart of trust. Without trust, love will wither and
die, and have no place to take hold and grow. We gain safety and comfort
when we trust.
Only our own heart and mind is in charge of the depth of trust we want to
give to another. When we increase belief in ourselves we gain courage to
have faith in a positive future despite the risk of more failure. When we
have faith we can see what we want out of life and overcome the obstacles in
the way to achieve it. We develop the confidence to move forward into our
By Emily Gail Lundy
For a long time, we, who are older than Jello, have known that the Baby
Boomers are the second most popular group in the land. No, we are not first,
and some of that most popular group still reigns. Those born somewhere
between 1934 and 1944 are the Silent Seniors or the ZZs. Or is it the Xs? We
are associated more with a small war still a troubled era, and most
important for not being an important group we are a small group not making
We reach out to those younger or older than us for friendship, and fit
better with the older, and try to stay out of trouble.
That’s it. We still pride ourselves on obeying the law. And if anyone thinks
there is a generation gap of size between us and our parents, they should
see the one between us and our descendents.
We know we are not wanted by other drivers, those behind us in lines to pay
out somewhere, even eating in restaurants or visiting the doctors, but we
have our fun. We see the world rushing, rushing, and some days we don’t do
that at all.
We put hope in the grandchildren, but when they fall in love, get jobs,
don’t need gas money or the family car, we seldom see them.
But it’s the rest of the world seeming to ignore us except for “life
insurance” with no questions, which is not true. You tell the truth, and no
one will touch you. Yes, we have AARP with timely periodicals, but most of
us are too poor to partake in fun suggestions, like a vacation home in the
Look at the advertising world. On television, this advertising blares out:
“Learn all about new makeup for the fall.” And the spiel goes into shades,
hues, textures. I want to hear something about, “What is better for women
over 70? Light or dark?” Another interesting take would be, “How much makeup
should a woman over 70 wear? More or less?”
Personally, my lipstick shade depends on what rolls out from under the car
seat when I turn a corner while driving. I’ve learned from being able to see
that bright colors on the aging, do just that – age the wearer. White
lipstick has overtones of a time we try to ignore. Pale can hardly be seen
on already pale. I know I can’t do to my face what I did 30 years ago. I did
solve the morning mystery of having excess wrinkles one day and few the
next. My face was swollen on those crevice-less days.
About 20 years ago, I had an anxiety seizure that was inside mostly. A
grandchild broke his hip at our house, bringing on sudden recall of another
earlier illness. I lost 22 pounds, not noticing. My eyes began frequent
blinking. My eyebrows developed spasms. In a year I was in glasses. I made
sure the rims of these bi-babies hid most of my eyebrows, went dark in the
sunshine, thus eliminating need for eyeshadow, and telling myself eye makeup
wouldn’t show much anyway with specs. Eventually, I was normal, as normal as
I can be and went on.
Then out comes a brochure with the most comfortable shoes for anyone. When
all the good is given, I’m still not sure. Is there stretch room at the
bunion site. Will there always be ample space for one toe trying to go
straight up? Will the shoes not stretch anywhere else? While I’m at it, will
boots come out with heels under one inch? For a while, every time I fell,
the shoes on my feet were given away. But I fell wearing no shoes once, and
I knew it was time to change me.
We ask for one movie out of 20 to be to our taste; soon, only oldies will be
watched on television because of all the unnecessary cursing. There is a
difference. Exercising even by “in shape” oldies would disable the few of us
who are walking without cane or walker. Wait until your knees don’t like
I believe I’ve digressed somewhat to “goldie oldies” but don’t ever say at
your younger age you weren’t warned. You boomers are closer to us than you
think, but then there are more of you. Congratulations.